Font Rants on Many Subjects

CNN sucks. We have come to live in a world where a single blonde bimbo; or a crazed blowhard; can dominate the political debate with their nightly/daily show. The tragic thing is once they get something into their little pea sized brains; they just repeat it endlessly; even in the face of actual truth. Al Gore never said he invented the Internet. Dean is pilloried for suggesting instead of just stringing Osama up; maybe we ought to give him a fair trial. The cable news seems to acheive no immunity to these anti-progressive memes. They have switched from trading in infomration; to trading in rumor.

An article in Slate has got me thinking about the exploration of Mars. I'm fairly certain I don't give a crap about some bacteria living in a hotspring on Mars. I think the moral dilemma is totally over blown. Maybe it is a special and unique thing; but special and unique things are destroyed every day; you think all those people who die every day; the ordinary grandparents; mothers; daughters; sons etcs aren't special unique works of art. Anyway back to Mars; without a magnetic field to shield you from Solar radiation; much less an atmosphere; life on Mars isn't going to be a paradise; it's going to be bare subsistence living at in a concrete bunker at best. After we spend 1 trillion dollars or so to put a few hundred people on Mars, and then maybe a few trillion more to make our bubble city; some kind of agriculture; and who knows what else; then what? Will going to Mars really save our species from some total catastrophe. Couldn't we just build some kind of underground bunker for a few thousand people in case of an asteroid strike or whatnot? I mean we have to build a freakin bubble city on a rock a few million miles away; if we're going to build some crazy futuristic thing; why a Mars colony? How about a giant laser to shoot down the asteroid; and we try a little harder to be nice to each other and not blow up the world.

Even then the "two worlds so that our species is safe argument" is ludicrous. So we go to Mars; an asteroid hits earth; then like what we go back after the coast is clear; and rebuild earth? But then the sun starts to burn out? (happens to Stars everyday all over the universe; you think we're special kiddo?). The sun burns out then where the heck to do we go? Interstellar? So we find another world; this time maybe there are natives; then we do have a dilema; I mean walking talking aliens; who will probably would look at us as a bunch of job stealing insterstellar immigrants? So maybe we build some space stations or something; find a nice quite spot in the universe and live in big space stations; no planets to conquer; we just live like on Star Trek? But eventually heat death of the universe gets us all anyway so its pointless.

The first thing to accept is that even if a few hundred folks go to Mars in our lifetimes; it probably won't be you. The second thing to accept is its bad news if it is you; you're life expectancy will be cut short by the massive amounts of radiation you'll get on the trip there (and then the year you live there on a barren desolate wasteland; and they won't have cable). Of course it will be a grand adventure; so you won't need cable. Still its not going to be as nice as other desolate places like say Wyoming; where you can enjoy life in a barren wilderness; and still get the Dish. Then you must accept that there will be jobs there; but you're basically going to be living in some kind of giant welfare state; where you work for NASA or somebody; for room and board. The final thing to accept is that the food they will have on Mars is going to be some really excellent dehydrated goo. I suspect people on Mars will end up rioting for a Hershey bar; or a fruit salad.

Mars has become a sort of scientific version of heaven. If we can get there we can all achieve immortality. Kim Stanley Robinson alludes to this in his Mars trilogy. Science has eliminated all the old religions; discarding them as superstitions; and now the scientists have found something to fill the void. The resurrection of the body and the life everlasting have been replaced by the colonization of space; survival of the species and immortality pills. Mars is the new promised land; and a great leader will come and deliver us; just as Moses delivered the Israelites. The great story of civilization presented in the Bible; now becomes a story we will live in the future. Because historical facts keep getting in the way of our myths; we've moved our myths to the future where they can be safeguarded. In the event history doesn't unfold like we want it; we just shift it forward ten or twenty years. The science religion even has its even has apocalypse; if you think about it the great people will go to Mars (hey maybe we can send 144,000 :) ). Then global warming or an asteroid will destroy all those left behind. In fact Global Warming becomes the evil destroying itself in a kind of final judgment of science. The morally inferior were too busy driving their SUV's; charging up their visa cards; and buying sweat shop clothing. The good go to Mars; and then the final judgment hits. Makes me wonder anyway.

So all you scientists with your smug notions of superiority; who think you're free of the old time religions; look you've just totally replaced the old myth with a new set; that weirdly reflect the old time religion you tried to leave behind. I believe CS Lewis once said something to the effect that Jesus reflected so many of our myths because he was the ultimate fulfillment of those myths and aspirations.

In any case I recommend the following rules for life:

1. Enjoy the time we have together; it may be all there is.
2. Try not to freak out; but we're all going to die.
3. Try not to be such an ass; it will at least make it more pleasant for the rest of us.
4. Remember the words of Clint in unforgiven: When you kill a man you take away all he's got and all he'll ever have.

Here they are, the secret plans that Saddam had hidden from us. I hope it was worth it (note photo). I think I drew up simmiliar missile plans in the 7th grade.